I have ninja fingers. A sign that blood-test fingerpricking is taking a toll is quite noticeable lately. Not only because of the little spots gracing the finger undersides from testing, but the fact that I'm worn out from ninja-like control.
Frankly, I need a break from diabetes. My fingers hurt and need a rest. My regular infusion sites are used and need a rest. Carb counting takes so much time and effort, and in tough economic times when money's tight and the grocery shopping has been trimmed, skipping meals and snacking periodically is sometimes just easier - and that's a slipperly slope that doesn't mix well with ninja-betic management. The finances also impact the trips to the trusted Endo, who is a great motivator but unfortunately isn't cheap when insurance wants to limit doc visits and the co-pays and tests quickly add up. (I still haven't started paying off the unexpected ER visit in August that I couldn't afford, but was necessary thanks to a low while driving.)
Frustrations are once again mounting, and impacting my management (not to mention my work, which has also been off). It would be really nice to have a break, or be able push diabetes to the back of the mind and forget about it for a while.
But as we all know, that isn't possible. We don't get a break. Ever. Even when we want and need one desperately. Diabetes is a 24/7/365 priority, no matter what. The above issues have all been weighing on me in recent months, but even more in the past few weeks. They have seemed to build on each other. Traveling up to Michigan a couple weekends have also meant more time away from church, and all combined it's been a crazy time for controlling diabetes. But that's no excuse, and I recognize it.
It may very well be time to take a break from the pump, and revert back temporarily to insulin shots that I haven't endured for eight years. It seems I've read many people talk about their regular sites becoming too used, and a need to find alternate locations or get onto shots again. That may be what I need. After all, 8 years of pumping continuously is a long time for the body to endure. While the tech may allow it, our bodies may not be up to it. This may be something worth investigating, and I wonder if others have asked this question or if any studies are being done on this. Seems like a worthwhile topic, in my opinion.
Regardless of the Pump v. Shots decision, it's clear this diabetic must muster the strength to get back on the ninja-like control. Laughing is a good start. That came Friday.
In reading a Six Until Me post recently, I simply started laughing uncontrollably at work and almost pulled my pump site clear out of my stomach. As it turns out, it stayed in - which is good, since as I've pointed out my site selection options seem to be running low at the moment. I must thank Kerri and SuperG, a/k/a the Ninjabetic. This was hilarious, and fit right in with my frequent ninja references and current need to get back on the tight control bandwagon. It was a needed boost to get back on the bandwagon. Today was a low-key relaxing day at home, when I stayed in my Guinness sleepy pants and sweatshirt and made the all-important decision to turn the heat on for the first time this season.
Tonight, I will change my site. That may be the beginning of getting back to my Ninjabetic job, but we'll see what happens next. One day at a time.
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